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... No. Not really.

[He's honest about it because, truthfully, he doesn't want to know. He's well-aware something doesn't go well, but the idea of them getting their asses kicked is not one he wanted to entertain. Some naive part of him hoped that Mr. Stark would wave it off, say they won, maybe make it out like Peter was an idiot for thinking anything different.]

But it's not just about what I want. 'Cus I already know something not-so-great happened back home. You came back hurt pretty bad, and I'm — I'm not totally blind, okay? I know you're acting different than before the stab wound. You're anxious and tired more, and you seemed off during the cult thing.

... I just know... things had to have gone bad, Mr. Stark. I need to know.

Edited 2018-07-18 02:16 (UTC)

[ Yeah. Tony can't really bring himself to be surprised. Peter is the genuine hero type, someone who does what he does for the right reasons, even if he's occasionally an idiot about it. Tony had known going into this that the minute Peter latched on, Tony was going to have to admit just how dismal the failure was, and no amount of wanting to protect him from it was going to stop the kid from finding out from someone. Might as well be him. Tony probably owes him that much. ]

We lost.

[ And Peter knows the stakes. He's a smart kid. He can work this one out. ]

... Oh.

[It's a quiet little sound where Peter stands, his arms crossed and his expression blank from the shock of it for a moment (but he sensed something was off, something was bad, he knew it-). Because he is piecing together A to B to C, deducting just how absolutely fucked this failure must be. It strikes him like he's in his math class back in Midtech; if Thanos won, half of life is wiped out. If half of life is wiped out, half of Earth is wiped out. Half of the Avengers, half of New York, half of the people he loves—

Fear quickly leeches into Peter's expression as he walks a little aimlessly around the room.

Aunt May — She'd be fine, right? By all accounts, Peter's already lost well over fifty percent of his family in his life, so maybe she'd be...? And Ned? MJ? All of his friends at school? His teachers? Queens, and all the people he's come to protect out there—]

That — that, that's not... good.

[His voice teeters on not being a voice at all, surprisingly to him.]

Edited 2018-07-18 16:34 (UTC)

[He closes his eyes, head twitching and brows furrowing.]

We'll fix it, though, right?

[He paces, because he's not sure what to do with himself.]

That can't just be it, you know? There's gotta be a way to fix this — if, if, if we just find Thanos and somehow get these stones back, right? We can undo the half? Mr. Stark, we can't just... We gotta help all those people. My friends and everyone, and — [No, Peter, don't freak out. Don't freak out. Don't freak out. Anything is fixable if the heroes are involved. Even billions and trillions of dead people, it's fixable, right? He laughs weakly, stopping in front of Mr. Stark and trying to be stronger than he feels like he is; fake it 'til you make it, right?]

C'mon, you're Iron Man. Don't look so defeated about it. Who's left? Do we know? We've still got the others, right? And the galaxy probably has loads of other pissed off hero-types, so all we gotta do is recruit them for help. There's got to be more wizards and magic aliens, right? We can fix it!

[ And Tony ends up just staring at him for a long moment before he lets out a quiet, almost surprised laugh. ]

God, I hope so.

[ It's maybe a bit too honest for either of their good, but Tony can't find the energy for anything else right now. He scrapes a hand over his face and muster up a smile from somewhere. It's not fair to dump this on anyone, least of all Peter. ]

It's. You don't have to worry about it here. You shouldn't. Think of it like a vacation, just take the time to enjoy yourself. We'll fix it. We will.

[Dude, don't stare at him like that, you're supposed to nod and say "totally pete, 100%, you're always so smart and right". He looks entirely unconvinced that he shouldn't have to worry about it — or that he can even remotely see this place as a vacation, after this emotional kamikaze into his sternum. He's glad that Iron Man at least says they can fix it. Will fix it. It's better than a I hope so.

... But his stomach is still twisted up, and he keeps thinking about his friends and family.

His voice is a little weaker, a little more horrified.]

... Do you know if Aunt May's okay? Do we go back to see her and whoever else is there, or...?

[He's lost so many people, Mr. Stark.]

[ The hesitation is shorter this time. Yes Peter deserves to know, but maybe this is something Tony can spare him from. he's a kid. He shouldn't have to have this hanging over him.

No one else actually knows how it ended on Titan, though Sam probably suspects. Tony's got enough things weighing him down, he can hold onto this for Peter. ]

I don't know, I'm sorry. The last thing I remember is still being in space.

[He nods, looking a little lost.

But Tony did at least spare him, for the time being — he doesn't remotely consider that he's among the missing half of the galaxy. There's a palpable concern and anxiety coming off him in waves, a sort of helplessness that would probably literally drive a spider kid up a wall. He has hands, ergo, he should be using them to do something to protect the galaxy. But there's nothing to do here; there's no one to save from danger, and those already in harm's way have been harmed. And then some.

He stands there, for once a little speechless, rubbing an arm.

Is he supposed to go back to protecting Riverview as Spider-Man?

He supposes that's one way to handle this helplessness. His voice is a little uneven, quieted.]

I'm sorry, Mr. Stark. That you had to deal with that. I wish I could do something.

[He's gonna spend a lot of time worrying about the people he loves at home, that's for sure.

But it's — it's better than swinging around not knowing, thinking everything's okay.

That wouldn't be fair to the people who're gone.]

[ Tony can't help letting out a long exhale. Part of him feels almost relieved that Peter seems to have stopped asking questions, though it's flavored with guilt for the same reason. ]

You and me both. [ One side of his mouth tips up just a little. ] I know it's going to be...hard. Being here with all that going on. God, I know it. But you can't let it eat at you.

[ Says the guy who's been in the middle of a drawn out meltdown since he found out. But please don't take after him, Peter. You can be so much better than that. ]

[He nods, laughing humorlessly.]

It's easier said than done, but I think you probably know that by now.

[He rubs his eyes tiredly, one hand at his side where his mask hangs.]

I guess I'll just — hang out, keep doing my thing. Whether I'm in New York or Riverview, there're people who could use a hand. And, and I could probably use the distraction until they can get me back home. So... [He breathes in deep. Don't freak out right now, Peter, not in front of Mr. Stark. Maybe once you're on your own and not causing any trouble.] I'll be — around.

[ There's a long moment where Tony just gives him a long, searching look, before his smile goes a little bit wider. Just that much more genuine. ]

Yeah. I hear you. Just -- take it easy on yourself, alright? And let me know if you need anything you know where to find me.

[He nods, forcing a smile.]

I will.

[He won't. This is gonna eat him up — but Mr. Stark's right that there's nothing much else to do than to try and relax. Relax? How do you relax? Is that a thing people do under duress? No way. He's about to head out the door, maybe sit somewhere so high the vertigo'll clear his head up, but he hesitates and looks back. He thinks about Mantis giving him a friendship bracelet that he still keep under his suit, and Gamora lecturing him on sleep, and Quill buying him ice-cream in exchange for candy—

God, he can't even help himself.]

Are — Are the Guardians okay?

[ Tony's expression does something complicated, flicking through a dozen different emotions at once. And that's pretty much an answer, isn't it?

Though if it isn't, the long exhale that Tony gives, and then the too-gentle statement that follows it might as well be. ]

Do you really want to know? Think about it, Peter. There's nothing you can do about it, not here.

[It is an answer. It's a blinding answer, one that makes him feel a little sick.]

Who did they lose?

[That's answer enough from him, too. There's nothing he can do about it —

but he can't just leave without knowing, now.]

[ Well shit. Tony's really regretting his mental promise not to lie. But it would be worse if he did, and Peter found out. People always found out. ]

I only ever saw Peter, Mantis and the big one. Drax.

[ There's the briefest pause before he makes himself spit it out, eyes closing. ]

None of them made it.

[There's a telltale sign of a working jaw and the gleam of watery eyes — he's not gonna do that in front of Mr. Stark, he's dealing with enough from home and he doesn't need some kid crying in front of him. He forces himself to get through it, voice thready and quiet.]

And Gamora? What about her?

[They were there because she was supposed to be with Thanos.

They were there to save her.]

[ He shakes his head once. Too far in to back out now.

He is thinking about her. ]

I think...she was gone before any of us got there.

[He feels that numb static prickle in his hands you get, when something so suddenly vanishes or breaks apart in life; that same kind of stomach drop and pulse you get when you're falling, when you look up to a ceiling coming down on you, when someone you love doesn't return a call — when you're told someone you love doesn't make it (and it's all on you). He breathes out, shakily, color draining from his face. It's hard enough to know someone's gonna die when you go home. But he knows them. He knows them here, and they're his friends, and — and they're — they're so nice to him.

He turns and quickly exits the room, not wanting to let it screw him up right in front of his mentor.

With a thwip and a rush of air, he's gone out the door and into the night in seconds.]

Edited 2018-07-28 23:13 (UTC)

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